Love Isn’t the Problem - So Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Most couples don’t split because they’ve stopped loving each other. It’s usually because love on its own isn’t enough. When you talk, it feels like they’re not listening. Conversations end in silence or another row. And the little things that once made you laugh now drive you mad.

It’s not that you don’t care anymore. It’s that you’re not meeting each other’s needs in a way that makes you both feel loved.

Why the usual fixes don’t work
Maybe you’ve already tried to listen to each other more and not switch off or talk over each other during conversations.

Maybe you’ve tried to have regular date nights, or romantic nights in to bring the romance back.

Maybe you’ve even tried googling or scrolling social media for relationship tips and quick fixes.

If none of these have worked, there’s a reason. Without knowing and understanding each other’s profiles, you’re both guessing how to meet each other’s needs. You’re guessing how to talk so you both feel heard. You’re guessing how to show love in a way that lands. And when you keep guessing, you’ll keep getting it wrong.

How GYGO helps you see what’s really going on
GYGO isn’t from the world of therapy. It’s a simple, straightforward way to see why you keep misunderstanding each other and how to get back on the same page.

The GYGO Profiling tool shows how you both naturally give and receive love, what your strengths and challenges are, how you react when life gets tough, and what you each need day to day to feel loved and supported.

The four GYGO shapes are:

• Heart – Emotional, empathetic, needs reassurance and connection
• Circle – Logical, focused on action, results driven
• Diamond – Energetic, impulsive, thrives on positivity
• Square – Structured, steady, feels safest with predictability

When you understand your shape and your partner’s, you can see the compatibilities, spot the trigger points that set you off, and recognise the sweet spots where you naturally get on. The more you understand about each other’s profiles, the easier it becomes to make the small changes needed to meet your own and each other’s needs.

A real-life example
Say you’re a Heart and your partner’s a Circle. They’ve just got home from work.

You’ve spent ages making their favourite dinner, poured them a drink, and asked about their day.

They walk in, brush past you, and say, “Stop fussing, I’m fine. I’ll eat later, I’ve just got another call to make.”

You feel rejected, ignored, and taken for granted which makes you upset.

They think you’re being oversensitive and emotional, which makes them angry.

So before the evening’s even started, there’s an atmosphere and neither of you are happy.

Now imagine you both understood your shapes.

The Heart might still say, “Dinner’s ready, I thought you’d like your favourite tonight.”

The Circle could reply, “It’s been a busy day. Dinner sounds lovely. Give me ten minutes for a quick call, then I’m all yours.”

The Heart offers, “Want me to run you a bath while it’s cooking?”

The Circle answers, “No thanks, I’ll grab a quick shower. Dinner smells great, be with you in half an hour.”

Same people. Same evening. But now the Heart feels cared for and appreciated, and the Circle feels less pressure. GYGO gives you the words and perspective to turn those small trigger points into calmer moments. Over time, those small changes add up to a stronger, more loving relationship.

Practical steps to bring the spark back

• Take the quiz together. It’s quick, eye-opening, and gets the conversation going.
• Talk about stress. Noticing how you each react under pressure helps you stop taking things personally.
• Use shape language. Instead of getting overwhelmed and moody when a quick decision is made, a Square could say: “Remember I like to think things through before I decide, so can I have a bit more time please?”
• Be curious, not defensive. If a Diamond is running late, don’t get cross - ask if there’s anything you can do to help hurry them along.

It’s not about getting it right every time. It’s about understanding when the hot spots may occur and making small changes to cool them down more quickly.

Final thoughts
Love is one of the most important things in a relationship, but on its own it isn’t enough. Understanding, communication, emotional safety, and being able to meet each other’s needs are the other ingredients GYGO can show you.

So instead of feeling like you’re stuck in the same old arguments, you can get back to being a couple who actually enjoy being together.

[Take the Couples Quiz]