It’s Not About Talking More, It’s About Talking the Same Language

You love your family. But let’s be honest - some days it feels like you’re either walking on eggshells or landmines, waiting for the silences or the battles to begin.

All you really want is for everyone to just get on and be happy. Instead, you’re stuck in the middle of constant snapping and bickering over who left the light on or who used the last of the milk.

The advice you will usually hear is “You just need to talk more.” but talking more doesn’t always mean communicating better. Sometimes it just means louder voices, more frustration, and everyone walking away feeling misunderstood and fed up.

When we don’t understand how each person in our family thinks, feels, and what they need, we fall back on how we personally like to communicate. And nine times out of ten, that’s not how the other people in the house want or need it.

What Families Are Really Struggling With
It’s easy to think your kids are just being moody or rude, your partner isn’t listening, and you’re the only one trying to keep the peace. But most of the time, it’s not that anyone doesn’t care - you’re all speaking different languages, and no one really knows what the others need.

• Your teenager shuts down when you ask them questions. They’re not being rude; they just need processing time to work out what you’re saying and how to answer. If they’ve just got in from school or a social activity, they may be feeling overwhelmed and need a bit of decompression first.
• Your partner talks non-stop the moment they walk through the door. They’re not trying to annoy you; they just need to get everything out of their head so they can switch off and relax for the evening.
• Your child has a meltdown when their friends cancel plans. It’s not sulking or defiance; it’s because the change wasn’t expected, and their brain struggles to process it.

The problem isn’t that people can’t be bothered - everyone’s trying in their own way. The problem is that none of you really know what the others need to feel heard and understood. Everyone in your house has their own way of communicating, and if you don’t understand it, you end up talking at each other instead of with each other.

Where GYGO Fits In
GYGO Profiling gives families a way to finally understand each other.
It’s not just a personality quiz, it’s a simple tool that shows how each person naturally thinks, feels, communicates, and reacts when life gets tricky - and what they actually need to make family life feel calmer and happier.

Here’s a quick look:

• Circle – Direct, logical, wants results.
• Heart – Emotional, caring, empathetic, craves connection.
• Diamond – Energetic, impulsive, thrives on variety and positivity.
• Square – Steady, structured, feels safest with order and predictability.

Now imagine this in real life:

• You’re a Square mum asking your Diamond child to stick to the morning routine. For you, routines feel safe. For them, routines feel suffocating. No wonder every morning ends in a row.
• Or maybe your partner’s a Circle. They show love by working hard and providing for your family. You’re a Heart - you want hugs, quality time, and words of reassurance. The love’s there, you’re just missing what each other needs.

Practical Tips You Can Try Today

• Start with the quiz. Everything begins here. Profile yourself, your partner, and your children. It’s quick, eye-opening, and gives you a starting point for better conversations.
• Validate before correcting. Instead of jumping in with “you’re wrong” or “do it this way,” acknowledge the other person first: “I get this feels frustrating, I understand where you’re coming from… but let’s look at it another way.” That way you’re guiding them, not shutting them down.
• Match the pace. Some people (Diamonds and Circles) think and talk quickly. Others (Hearts and Squares) need more time to process. If you push a slower processor to answer straight away, they’ll either shut down or get defensive. If you drag out a story with a faster thinker, they’ll lose patience or switch off. Spotting the pace difference stops so many unnecessary rows.
• Adapt your language.
• With Hearts, keep it kind, reassuring, and gentle - they’ll carry words around with them for hours.
• With Squares, stick to facts, detail, and logic - if you challenge them, show the proof.
• With Diamonds, keep it upbeat and simple - one step at a time, not ten.
• With Circles, be direct and show the benefit - they want to know the “why” and “what’s in it for me.”

Final Thoughts
You don’t need perfect parenting or endless patience. You just need a way to understand what’s really going on underneath the snapping, silence, or meltdowns.

More talking isn’t the answer.
Speaking the same language is.

Ready to see how your family communicates?
[Take the Family Quiz]